he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
