If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
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