I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
two words: eviction party
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
