3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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