He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
