Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
