I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
