I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
