Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
