Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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