At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
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