We won't sleep together?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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