there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize