Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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