Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
