That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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