absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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