ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
