she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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