do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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