one two three fourrrrnication!
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
only you would photoshop your dick
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize