its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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