You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Pants are for mortals
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