Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize