My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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