My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
