Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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