nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
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