At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
