Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
