This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize