Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she pinky promised me she was 18
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
