I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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