two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
