There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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