i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize