I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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