So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
