after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We don't watch enough power rangers
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
