the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
