I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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