Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
