I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
