Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
