I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
