The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
