My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
