I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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