"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
