i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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