Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
