i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We got so high we made milksteak
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
