We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
