good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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