walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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