She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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