dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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