At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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