my phone needs a breathalizer
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
