Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
