Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's never too late to be topless.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
