go do what you do best...puke behind churches
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
one might say we're banned from that church
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
