If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
